Monday, October 29, 2007


This is my new nickname for Lily for days like today, when she is very hungry and very fussy. Sort of a pig and a squirmy creature at the same time.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Giant Mutant Freaks

That's what "normal" sized babies look like to me. I can't help it, I'm used to my wee preemie, even though she's up to 11 pounds now. I see other babies and I flinch. They're like those enormous prize-winning vegetables at the Fair.

When is 163 lbs. not 163 lbs.?

When it's your before and after pregnancy weight. I'm back down to what I was before I was pregnant, but it ain't the same. Things are not distributed in the same places. I still can't wear my favorite Eddie Bauer jeans, and the stupid company went and changed the style of their jeans so I can't just buy some bigger ones. I hate their new cuts, they all make me look fat. Very annoying. And none of my tops fit because I have these big melons full of breast milk now. I never thought that would be a problem, having big boobs. But it's a challenge! I know what you're thinking--oh poor baby, you got big boobies, wah wah wah. Really, I'm not whining. It's nice to have cleavage. It's just a strange surprise, and inconvenient, excuse me.

Friday, October 26, 2007

A Perfect Baby Day

Yesterday was magnificent. I got out of the house, FINALLY, after being sick with cold/ick all for almost a month. I took Lily to Baby Storytime at my library and even though she slept through most of it, I had a great time learning the songs--I love "Wheels on the Bus," and now I know all the hand signal thingees for "Itsy Bitsy Spider," which makes me feel like such a real Mommy! I got to see my peeps that I worked with there, and several people held Lily. It was so funny, one of them tentatively asked if she could smell the top of Lily's head, and then everyone wanted to! It's the baby smell. Like a new car or something. Ha. Carrie K. was there too so I got to see her and Kieran, and I got to pick up a bunch of books I'd had on hold. Sean, ever the suprising gentleman, went and found me a bag to carry all my books in, even though the library doesn't give out bags anymore. Then Carrie K. and I headed over to General Mills and had lunch with John. Kieran was really good and we had a nice lunch. Lily slept long enough for us to eat and then we fed her.

I also found that I felt much healthier getting out of the house, which led me to confirm my suspicion that the dirty house is making me sicker. So I'm glad I had already made an appointment with a cleaning service to come do an estimate today. I think it's totally going to be worth it to pay for keeping the house clean, both for my health and sanity.

Oop, gotta go get ready to go, taking Lily to a Halloween family celebration at Gen. Mills tonight! Pictures later!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


It's hard not to look at Lily and just think about how much fun we'll have later, like when she can walk, and we'll take her to the park and look at leaves and bugs and trees. And then when she's old enough to go to the Children's Museum and the Children's's hard to just enjoy now sometimes. I know everyone says "Enjoy it, it goes so fast." But you can't really see that while you're in the middle of it, so that comment doesn't really mean anything. I try to. I think to myself while I'm holding her how much I love holding her in my lap while she sleeps and just staring at her cutie face and listening to her little snores or sighs, and I think , this won't last forever, revel in it.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Why Aren't Baby Farts Baby-Sized?

I mean, baby burps can be cute and little (and even when they're big they're still cute and funny), but baby farts are just as loud and stinky as adult farts! What's up with that? Sometimes we have to look at each other like, "Was that you?" "No, it was Lily!" Not very lady-like. And she looks so innocent.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

How Do Ugly Babies Survive?

I think I've had two hours of sleep tonight, and now I have a migraine and I'm still recovering from my malingering cold. And yet, when I get up in the middle of the night to feed Lily, I look at that sweet little face and I feel a surge of love and generosity towards her that makes me not care about all that stuff. She is so darn cute!! I love holding her and comforting her with my body and soothing her with my voice, and that she knows my voice and responds to me. I love lying my cheek against the top of her fuzzy soft little head. I love kissing her cheeks and her forehead. I love holding her hand when she is asleep.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Having a Cold with a New Baby

Takes forever to get well. It's Saturday, Thank God, I made it through the week, but even with John getting up this morning and letting me sleep in for 7 hours until after 1pm, I still feel like crap. It's already been two weeks and this cold is lingering and lingering. Malingering. I keep wanting to get out of the house and then I wake up feeling like this and want to just huddle under a blanket and not come out.

Luckily Lily is still doing pretty well, only congested a few times and her boogies look clear, no infection. And no more fever. We have a doc appt. on Monday so that should be fun to see how much she weighs now.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Baby's Cold Update

Lily's fever only lasted the one day and she's only been a teeny bit congested since then, so it hasn't been bad for a first cold. I think because she's eating breast milk, she's getting the benefit of the antibodies I am creating to fight my own cold. Score one for breastfeeding!

When To Do Your Laundry

Of course, you have to do baby's laundry every 2-3 days ,that's a given. But when do you do the adult laundry (that sounds funny...)? Well, it seems to be either when Daddy has no underwear to wear to work tomorrow, or when baby barfs on Mommy's comfy-wear-around-the-house clothes. Everything else you can let go. For instance, this evening Lily barfed down the sleeve (all the way up to my elbow) of my comfy fleece jacket with pockets that I wear around the house. Immediately it was time to do laundry. There are certain things I need to get through the day.

Your Face Is Going To Get Stuck Like That

Remember when your Mom used to say that? You'd cross your eyes to be funny and she'd say "Your face is going to get stuck like that, and then you'll be sorry." Well, I think I know why moms say that. It's because their faces do get stuck like that. I was so sleep-deprived today that my eyes kept crossing and it was a huge effort to uncross them. Then after a while I was happy enough if they were crossed and I could just keep my eyes open.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Baby's First Cold

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, and since John and I have been sick for the last week and a half, it should be no surprise that Lily had a fever today. So of course we called her clinic, and talked to a nurse. She said we can call 24/7, so that's a relief. We gave Lily some baby Tylenol for her fever, and she has a little congestion so we use the nose sucker when necessary. I know there's a more official name for that thing, but "nose sucker" is easier to remember. We also have humidifiers going in the two rooms we have her in the most, which brings back memories of humidifiers in my room when I was a kid and getting strep throat every other month, or so it seemed. I liked the sound of it, it was a white noise that made it easier to go to sleep, and I was always an insomniac when I was little.

Lily hasn't been very active today, no surprise since she's sick, and so she's sleeping a lot and we've been holding her a lot to keep an eye on her and also just to comfort her. I have her in my lap right now, sleeping all wrapped up in one of the blankies Gramma Jane made her, and lying on a pillow. She's mostly asleep but she's making these tiny little noises. Earlier today when John and I were both taking a nap, Lily woke from her nap all fussy and making little moaning noises. Oh, so sad! So we put her between us in bed and snuggled up next to her. Usually this comforts her and she goes to sleep peacefully, but she just kept moaning. That's when we suspected she might be getting sick.

So, no play mat time today. I missed the first Baby Storytime at the library last week because I was sick, and this week we'll miss it because she's sick. Darn. But as John pointed out, we have baby storytime here several times a day. Often we read to her after a feeding to either entertain her or soothe her with our voices into sleep. It doesn't matter that she isn't looking at the books yet. So I read her my favorites: The Golden Egg Book, The Sneetches, Baby Farm Animals, Winnie the Pooh: A Tight Squeeze, etc. I have a lot of favorites. It's so fun to read aloud and know my voice is soothing her. I've also been starting to collect more books, like anything my James Marshall, especially the George and Martha books, which are hilarious. George and Martha are two hippopotamuses (hippopotami?) who are the best of friends but are constantly annoying each other. The stories are short and very funny, and Marshall's drawings illustrate the characters' personalities in very subtle ways that makes the books worth reading over and over.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Ah, Breastfeeding

I call this piece "The Glories of Breastfeeding." I just made it a few days ago for an art show my art group, MNAlteredArts, has at the Anodyne coffee shop this month. I haven't even been able to get over there yet and see it because of being sick. Very annoying. So anyway, Miss Breastfeeding here is meant to be very cheeky. Obviously. Those are real bottle nipples that I painted bronze. The postage stamps on her body say things like "Support Our Youth" and "Food For Peace." Haha. There's one on her back that's of Mary holding Baby Jesus. So, some of it is meant to be sarcastic about the pressures of breastfeeding put on women in our culture right now, but other elements, like the colorfulness and the music note paper here and there, is meant to convey the joy I feel breastfeeding (when it's working right and doesn't hurt!!).

Crapola Weather and Colds

Jeeeeeez I hate this weather, it's been hot and raining. It's supposed to cool off today but still with the rain. The barometric pressure keeps going up and down and that messes with my head and gives me headaches. John and I have had colds for a week with no sign of them going away yet. Very tiring. But Lily is well, so that's great. I know there'll be a time when we're all three sick, and I'm glad it isn't now. Lily slept for 6 HOURS last night!!! That was wonderful, we both got sleep which we especially need now that we're sick. So, what a great baby.

What's Your Name Again?

I used to wonder how people could stop calling each other by their first names when they became parents, but now I get it. You're so happy that you're in this new role, that you want to reinforce the feeling of really being a Mommy or Daddy by calling each other by these new names. I tell Lily, "Let's go see Daddy," or I just talk to John, addressing him as the new fantastic Dad he is, "How are you doin', Daddy?" or sometimes I get really sickening and address him in the third person in very small words and clipped sentences, "Daddy is tired?" Disgusting, I know. Go ahead and roll your eyes, cuz we're lovin' it.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Carpool Poll Results

The results are in, and an overwhelming majority of you (5) say I should be able to drive in the carpool lane if I have Lily with me in the car. As far as John and I have been able to hunt down on MNDot, the requirement is only for another occupant, not adult or driving-age person. So there. As it should be.

In looking for this information, we came across a lot of funny news stories about people going to ridiculous lengths to use the carpool lane. The worst and silliest was the one with the pregnant lady, who when stopped by a police officer and asked where her other car occupant was, pointed to her belly. Yeah, I don't think so, honey. The judge in the case ruled that she was silly. Well, no, just that she had to pay the fine and no way were police officers going to be doing pregnancy tests on the side of the road to qualify single female drivers for the carpool lane. Other attempts to circumvent the rules to get into the carpool lane included a woman who planted a fake baby in a carseat in her car (it was a doll), a man who used a blow-up doll in the passenger seat--actually, several men have done this, and I wonder why is it always men doing the blow-up doll? Do they have these lying around at home?--and people claiming their pets qualify as multiple-occupancy. Hmm. A dog is an occupant, yes, but I think most laws specify occupants as humans. Too bad. Sorry, doggies.

Whackity Results

Yes, folks, she's done it! She's whacked the velcro hippo off the dangly bar!


Lily flails her arms about in the jiggly chair.


I never realized how wackity babies' arms are. When Lily is upset that we aren't getting her the milk to her hungry mouth fast enough or when she's just very energetic, her arms go flying all over the place. They don't really have any destination or purpose, it seems, just to flail about in an attention-getting manner. And whatever is in their path gets whacked. I mean, you know, not very hard, they are just little baby arms. But sometimes she hits herself in the face and then cries! How sad is that? But sometimes when she's on her playmat, she'll accidentally (at least I think it's accidentally at this point) whack one of the toys hanging above her head and this seems to please her. I probably get more excited than she does about it, like "hey, you accomplished something!" which is so overachiever of me. I don't think she's really expected to become aware of her arms and hands as part of her body until a few months from now.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Emily Holding Lily

My neice and Godchild holds her first Mercer cousin.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Before the Wedding

Here's me holding Lily in church in her fun outfit: Pink tennies, polka dot pants with ruffles, a white dress with flowers (yes, over the pants), and a fleece hoodie jacket. I wanna wear what she's wearing! I hate dressing up. This outfit (skirt, tank, fancy sweater) is one I wore three years ago at the last wedding I went to, and John had to dig through the attic to find it for me. Even then I never found any nylons and wore shoes without them because we didn't have time to go to the drugstore and get any. And my slightly hairy legs. Luckily no one probably even noticed because a)I wasn't the bride, and b)if they were looking at me, it was only because I was holding this extremely cute baby. So I survived, but I am just so unnaturally uncomfortable in a skirt or dress, it's criminal to make me wear one. I need to get a really snappy pantsuit and boots or something. Then everyone will think I'm a lesbian, great.

Lily's First Wedding

We dressed Lily for Mike and Sue's wedding in her fabulous pink tennies from my brother-in-law Bob. I can't believe how cute they are! And I think she likes them. It was her first wedding, and she slept peacefully through the incredibly loud church organ and the storm thundering outside. Everyone loved her shoes.

Oh Yeah, My Birthday

It was my birthday Saturday, I'm 41 this year. The last few years my birthday has been mostly an annoying reminder that I was getting older and still didn't have a baby--that biological clock was getting louder and louder in my ears, tick tock TICK TOCK TICK! TOCK! Now I feel a sense of relief that we have Lily and I don't have to give a crap anymore about those increasing digits.

Wendy sent me a package of goodies and Dave and Nancy Jo remembered me as well, so I did have a few presents to open Saturday night after we got home from Mike and Sue's pre-wedding fest. Otherwise we've really been busy all weekend with the wedding and haven't had time to go get cake or anything. I think I should still get some chocolate cake.