Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I'm trying to stop and pay attention to Cocoa and slow down and pet her in between doing things for Lily. I know she's just jealous and needs more attention and that's why she went Cujo yesterday. And actually she's been mostly very good since the incident yesterday. But it's like having two kids, I swear. I'm hoping tomorrow we can get her to day care (the dog, not the baby) so she has a whole day to get her ya-ya's out with other doggies.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
First of all, I had to go to a doctor's appt in the frigid cold (-25 wind chill) and so had to dress up baby in her Yeti suit to bring her with me. When I get home, Cocoa has gotten into trouble, trashing several things, and so I tell her she's bad and naughty and she goes off to sulk and look guilty. I haven't pumped since 4am and it's now 11am, so I really need to. So I put Lily on the floor and hook up, hoping I can entertain her and get this done at the same time. Then Cocoa comes back, wanting me to forgive her, and will not get out of my face and keeps stepping right next to Lily. I try and try to get her out of the way and she finally lies down, partly on the blanket right next to Lily, which I don't want. I try to move her but she won't budge. Lily wants to pet Cocoa and reaches out. Cocoa growls and I tell her no and I grab Lily's hand but Cocoa still won't budge and finally Lily gets a hold of some fur and Cocoa turns around and snaps at Lily.
This is very bad. So I pop Cocoa on the nose. And then Cocoa growls at me! So I pop her on the nose again and tell her bad dog. Then she bites me!! GREAT!! Super. So I have to unplug, drag the dog into another room, put the baby in the crib while I have a talk with Cocoa. Now the baby is crying because she doesn't want to be in the crib.
I don't get back to pumping for a couple of hours longer and I'm in great pain by then. And have a couple plugged ducts. More pain. Then there's lots of fussing and crying the rest of the day because Lily is teething, and she's crying a lot, and hasn't been sleeping through the night the last week or so.
Sucky day. Very sucky. I'm feeling emotionally overwhelmed as well as exhausted from being bitten by my own dog, scratched, hair yanked, clothes barfed on, etc. by my baby, and sick with my second winter cold. Then I get my period.
Don't give me any damn advice. Just have some sympathy for Mommy today. It was a hard day.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
This is one of my favorite Cary Grant movie moments, I always remember this bit. I don't know why I thought of it, I guess I just needed some nonsense. I made plans to do two things today but they both fell through because of either me feeling sick or me concerned Lily was getting a cold. So no gettin' out. I have been having a LOT of migraines lately and it sucks. I'm trying to look ahead to maybe Lily's 9 month mark and then start quitting the pumping breast milk. Once I'm off that gig, I can start trying migraine preventive medications, which could improve my daily life dramatically. Meanwhile, I try to keep up my spirits with goofiness like this. Go on, play it, it's fun. It's from The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer, with Shirley Temple.
Here's Daddy showing Lily how to step. She's wearing a new pants and jacket combo I got at Once Upon a Child, which is a really nice resale shop. I'm definitely going back there, maybe even for a crib. They don't have any crappy stuff, it's all nice, and the price is right. This set was only $6.50.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Then he went on, "My advice: no nook." Well, I felt it necessary to tell him that she (Lily--he never asked her name, guess he didn't need any personal information for his one-size-fits-all advice) needed a nook (this is a pacifier, for those who don't know) to learn to suck because she was a preemie and they gave her one in the hospital (you know, where doctors and nurses and other qualified medical personnel work?). So he glosses right over that and says, "Then my advice: At one year, no nook. The first few days are hard, but it's worth it." Again, I wanted my my food in an edible state, so I smiled and nodded.
But what the hell? It galled me, the way he kept saying "My Advice:" not as a question or even a recommendation that he'd heard from several other parents as a workable solution for something I asked about. Just "My Advice:" And, hey, I mean, this is not a fair situation. I am a captive audience at the mercy of the service he is giving me (well, that I am paying for), so I'm not going to have a real conversation with him and tell him what I really think. So he gets to listen to me tacitly agree with him, which strokes his authoritarian ego, which makes me ill. Someone needs to tell him to shut up. If I was having a real conversation with him, I would tell him I totally disagree with his Nazi parenting style, and that there are good reasons for pacifiers. And I wanted to ask, "Taking the pacifier away is worth what?" Why must you deprive your child of his little happy comfort device? I mean, I know there are medical reasons to stop using a pacifier--orthodontics, etc,--but there are also good reasons for using them. But he didn't care about my particular situation, about me personally, which is what he was no doubt trying to come across as, a friendly caring service person. But it backfired. Instead he showed himself to be not thoughtful, a bad listener, and someone who thought he was always right. Gee, I don't want to know you. Just give me my damn sandwich.
And what is it with people giving out unsolicited parenting advice? Just like when I was trying to get pregnant, just like when I was pregnant, they all had the answers. I guess it's an insecurity people have, and they think if they've found a solution to their particular problem, they must spread the word, evangelize. But having experienced several medical mysteries in my life, including unexplained infertility and migraines, I know one size rarely fits all, and I get very cranky when people insist they know the answer, if I would just listen to them. And it annoys me even more in a sandwich boy situation, where I can't say what I really think (even politely), beause I risk that service person taking my dissent as an affront and messing with the service they're giving me.
There's an NPR show called Wait Wait Don't Tell Me in which they have a segment that plays upon this situation, just for fun. It's called "Not My Job," in which guests are intentionally asked questions way out of their field. I think it's humbling for the guests, and a reminder to listeners that you can't know everything. So shut up and listen more. At least that's my take on it. And I have a headache right now so I'm probably overanalyzing this because I'm cranky. But I'm still right. So there.