Because

she's beautiful in my arms sleeping and I'm looking down at her round little head that still doesn't have much hair and I see her long eyelashes and it melts me into a Mommy puddle and I remember how she stared and stared into my eyes earlier when I read Green Eggs and Ham to her in funny voices and thought wow, she's changing, she's becoming more and more alert and more connected to me and loves my voice and earlier today she fell asleep to me reading her Go, Dog, Go, one of my favorites, and I love doing different voices for her when I read, it's like I finally got an excuse to have this much fun reading and playing and I love it. And we didn't ever send out any Christmas cards or even buy any or even start on writing our annual Christmas newsletter that everyone loves to read because it's fun and silly and not boring and I miss doing it but I don't care, I don't care if it doesn't ever get done this year because she's beautiful and wonderful and I'm up at 1:30am after holding her and playing with her since her 9pm feeding and finally getting her to peaceful sleep at 1am and like a broken Baby Alive her eyes popped open when I lay her down in the crib and she was ready to eat again and I just had to grin at her and get the next bottle of milk ready and pick her back up in my arms and go change another diaper and now she can almost hold the bottle all by herself which is amazing and my shoulder hurts all the way up my neck into my head and down my arm into my back because I haven't been doing my physical therapy exercises like I thought I would on vacation like a lot of things I thought I would get done on vacation but I have her and she's always there and I'll always drop whatever I'm doing and no, I don't need that food heated up, I'm used to eating it cold and it's okay, it doesn't matter that much, not like seeing her stop crying and snuggle up against me when I pick her up and know what to do. I can't make everyone else happy with me anymore, like I ever could, that was an illusion and a guilt trip I can't afford to take anymore, there just isn't time because I've got her now and me and her, we're happy.