Lily petting a horsey

This was at Gale Woods Farm, where we went last weekend for a horse-drawn sleigh ride and other fun activities. Lily was not intimidated by the size of the horses and wanted to pet them.

Seeing how calm she was with them actually made me feel more comfortable with them! This really surprised me. Even though we had horses when I was a kid, I was always wary of them and still am, but this time when I pet this horse, I relaxed and just gave him my full attention. When I put my hand on his head I just felt him, really felt his warmth and his spirit. It felt very different than any previous experience I've had around horses. I still sometimes have dreams of getting stepped on or nipped by a horse.

I love how Lily changes my perspective on things. I see her wonder and her courage in reaching out to a world that is all new, and it inspires me.

Mass Happiness

Today I went to Mass with John and Lily, and said a prayer to St. Anthony (we have a side altar for him) about my headaches. As it seems either a lost cause, or the lost thing I can't find is my health, he seemed like the go-to saint. I felt both serious and slightly cheeky about it, which seemed right. Gotta keep that sense of humour. And wonder.

Lily was slightly more than average on the squirm-o-meter, and very talkative. As we walked in, a woman in choir robes stopped mid-sentence talking to someone and said, looking at Lily, "Oh, there's the little girl." When I looked at her, wondering (it's a big congregation, several thousand families, so for Lily to be the little girl was interesting), she addressed me, adding, "I always love watching her, she's so cute."

This meant a lot to me, because I remember the many years before I had a child, watching other children playing, thinking how wonderful they were. Now someone else is thinking that about my child! How cool is that? Of course I always think Lily's the most fabulous child in the whole church every time we go to Mass. I love hearing her chatty little voice ring out in the silences, and how no one turns around shushing her, at least not in the this church, as our motto (I know it's called something else, but "motto" is easier to remember) is "Make a joyful noise."

Clever Girl

Here's Lily cookin' Mac' 'n' Cheese with peas with Daddy. Takin' a test bite.

Last night Lily picked up a cloth flower and said it was a flower with a nest in the middle for a bird. I thought it was fabulously clever as the middle of the flower (a Gerber daisy) did look like a bird nest in shape, if not size.

Then she said something brilliant about the toilet. Wait! It's not about poop, don't worry. No, the thingy that pulls up the plug for the water when you flush broke, and so I had to take the top off the tank so I could manually flush it. When Lily saw how the mechanism worked (she is very studious when she sees something new), and watched it a few times, she said "It's like Cranky!" That is a crane in the world of Thomas the Tank Engine, if you don't know. I thought it was great that she related one thing to another, and also that she used the word "like." Sometimes she'll say something IS something else, like any red car is Lightning McQueen, and if I say "Yes, it is like Lightning McQueen," she'll insist "No, Mommy, it's not like Lightning McQueen, it is Lightning McQueen!" So when she's playing, she enters the imaginatory world wholeheartedly and insists that I do as well. But if she's figuring out the world, then she makes a distinction. I love it!

Back in My Day

Lily, looking out the window at an older neighbor lady snowblowing her driveway:
When I was an older man I used to have a snowblower.

I know, it's hilarious. It's also exciting, because it's about her imagination and how it's developing and taking off into new realms. Before it was always Mom and Dad who had to make up stuff, like she asks what Cocoa is saying, what her trains dream about, etc. Of course we always ask her what she thinks, but mostly she'd just ask us again. Now she's starting to make up stuff herself. It's quite entertaining, as you can see.

Getting To No

You know, like getting to yes, except it's NO. No, no, no, said the toddler. So cooperative before, and now not so much. I suppose it was inevitable, that my two-year-old would start acting like, well, a two-year-old. And it's actually good, it means she's making more decisions. Doesn't that sound nice, that she's figuring out how to make decisions? Yeah, she's the decider.

Of course, it's also annoying as hell.
Lily, it's time to go to sleep.
No, I don't want to nap anymore.
[Note: no nap had thus far occured.]

Lily, we need to clean these up. Can you help me put these blocks back in the box?
No. (leaves room)

or, even better:

No, thank you.

Well, gosh, at least she has manners when she's being contrary! The good thing, we've noticed, is that often about a minute after she says no, she'll come back and do as you asked, like it was her idea. I think that's good, it shows that she's more concerned about being able to make the decision herself than being able to just do what she wants all the time. She's getting more independent. My baby!

and the baby goes snork!

Here i am at 2 in the morning. I can't sleep because I have a dang headache and I'm watching a Netflix movie on my laptop for distraction because when I just lie here and try to sleep everything hurts more. And I have headphones on so I won't make any noise in consideration of the two sleepers next to me. I turn and see Lily's face in the light of the computer screen, and she is so sweet and perfect-looking, like all children in their sleep. I pause the movie to listen to her breathe, and instead I hear something even more wonderful--a funny little snoring snork noise that makes me grin. And it feels like even though I am a mess right now, in some way all is right with the world because of this snork. What power our babies have to inspire us!